Do the Hornet Dance

After we finished chipping the two largest orchard slash piles, I hooked the chipper/shredder up to the back of the small tractor and pulled it to the third and final pile. I had moved this particular pile from its original, very prominent location next to the driveway to a less visible location on the edge of a stand of trees.

So I pulled the tractor up and backed the chipper into a spot next to the pile. We then decided that the best location for the chipper would be on the opposite side of the pile, to allow for easy transfer from pile to chipper, and a convenient deposit location for the chip. Since I had already disconnected the chipper from the tractor, and it would be awkward to maneuver it mechanically anyway, I grabbed hold of the chipper and proceeded to push it to its intended location.

Somewhere along the way, something strange started to happen.

At first, I didn't quite know what was going on, other than that it was bad. It took me a few seconds to realize that I was being stung - repeatedly. Instinctively, I started to run, probably flailing my arms and looking like an idiot. I think Corinne asked me if I was being stung, to which maybe I said yes. (It's kind of a blur at this point.)

As I'm running down the path, not knowing exactly what to do, Corinne yelled "Take your clothes off". Do what she says, I think, and I continue to run down the path flailing my arms, shaking my legs, and now depositing articles of clothing in a trail behind me. First my coat, then a shirt and belt, then the T-shirt, all while continuing to run.

Right about now I started to regain my senses, and my first thought was: should I really be taking my clothes off while being chased by a swarm of yellowjackets? I notice a particular pain on my left ankle, and when investigating discover that 2 of the little buggers have embedded themselves in my sock and the ankle beneath. After several seconds I manage to dislodge them.

Seeing no other immediate attackers, I begin to slowly backtrack along the trail. After checking each piece of clothing for infiltrators, I begin to re-clothe myself. Corinne is laughing heartily, and I can't help but agree, despite the pain. If only we had the video camera running.

We leave the coat on the ground where it fell, since it still contains 3 or 4 rather angry looking assailants. Heading back to the start of my little "dance", it becomes clear what happened. While pushing the chipper in front of me, one wheel rolled directly over an underground yellowjacket nest; seconds later, my foot planted directly on top of that same nest.

After a quick search through the various inherited chemicals in our shed, we manage to find a can of "Kill 'Em All" (or some such name) yellowjacket insecticide, and proceed to spray a good portion of it down into the nest. We're clearly not going to get any chipping done today, so we leave everything where it is and head in for the day.

Here comes the rather odd part. The very next day we come out to find that some animal has come along and completely dug the nest out. Thanks, friend, but you're a day late!

- Mike (& Corinne)